I just realized that it has been awhile since I last updated my blog. This month has been absolutely crazy and busy. I can't even tell you where the time went. Christmas time is crazy and it is hard to know where the time has gone.
For example, today was my day off and I had to take Landon to the ENT, where we had to wait for the doctor for 30mins for him to look in Landon's ears and say that he needs tubes again. That took a whole 2 minutes, but looks like we are going to have to put tubes in Landon's ears again and this time we are taking out his adenoids. It is a little more of a surgery then last time with the adenoids, which always scares you as a mother. He did so great the first time but this one is going to be harder on him then the last and that makes me hurt. I know that I went through the same thing as a child and don't really remember any of it, so I know it will hopefully only help him.
After we got done with the doctor we went to Walmart to buy stocking stuffers for Landon. I love that I can still shop with him this year because he doesn't really know that I am buying things for him, but next year we will have to get a baby sitter to shop. It is a part of life, the babies growing into adults, but a part of you wants them to stay young forever.
When we got home we played on his bouncer downstairs and hung out. Then it was time for his nap, which I have started to take part of with him. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE snuggling with him in his toddler bed for that little bit of time. He falls asleep much faster, it gives me snuggle time and I also get a small nap out of it. It has become a regular things for us and I can't help but cherish this time because there will be a time when he doesn't want me to snuggle with him.
That was just a regular day for us in this holiday season. We have spent a lot of time shopping and playing and enjoying our son. He is such a wonderful blessing from God and we hope to raise him to be a light in this world.
On the fertility front, we switched to Femara and on the low dose, I did not ovulate. So we did the progesterone on D30-35 and now just waiting on my "AF" (period), then the doctor decided to switch me back to Clomid. Welcome back mood swings.......But at least we know that Clomid does make me ovulate. We are doing one more cycle then planning to go up to KC to the RE and maybe do IUI (intrauterine insemination).
We were planning on getting me a secondary insurance but the quote was $250 per month, and that is for a reasonably healthy person whose only real problem is infertility. That is kind of sad, something is wrong with this system but I do know that socialized medicine is not the way to go either. We need to figure out something else out. So much for that idea.
The holiday season is another reason to reflect on what God did for us when He sent His son to Earth, what a wonderful blessing. I am thankful that I am saved and that Jesus was sent to Earth to die on the cross for my sins. He loves me, even when I do not deserve to be loved.
I hope and pray that everyone has a great Christmas. MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ONE AND ALL.
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Monday, December 5, 2011
Already 5 years married....where has the time gone??
This past weekend, Nate and I celebrated our 5 year anniversary. It seems like yesterday I was walking down the aisle towards Nate. So much has happened in these past 5 years, some good and some bad but through all of it we have gotten stronger in our love and our relationship.
We were still young and naive about many things that life would present us, less jaded and more carefree. I say jaded, but that mainly seems to be my problem. My husband seems to be more easy going than me and that must be why we are such a good match. He has calmed me down and I have made him more organized. He is definitely my better half and I am his. God made us perfectly for each other, we still have our imperfections but with God with us we can make it through anything.
With all of our recent fertility struggles, I feel like we have grown towards each other and for that I am grateful. I know that there is a chance that I may still get pregnant with just the Femara or Clomid, but the struggle has definitely taken a toll on me. Mentally I have been through the depths of valley and have been continually learning my need to rely on God more and more.
I finally decided that I cannot do this alone and that I need to have backup and strength to help me fight this battle with less stress and more confidence. I recently went to a counselor, who is faith based counselor and I am working with her to help me learn ways to decrease my stress to hopefully help with our fertility. She is wonderful and has helped me release some of my resentment towards those who haven't been very supportive or sensitive to us while we have been on this journey. Instead of wishing ill will towards them, I am now working on praying and leaving it in God's capable hands to teach them empathy.
Don't get me wrong, we have had some wonderful friends who have been very sensitive to us and have been very open about what is going on in their lives and for that I am grateful. I just wish that everyone could be like that, but that is not how this world works. Satan is trying to find ways to make us fall and he will use anything he can, but I know that my God is stronger and will always win that fight.
I still need prayers but I know that I have some wonderful people in my corner and that makes this journey easier.
For our anniversary, Nate and I went to Chateau Avalon. I had heard many wonderful things about it, but was kind of disappointed for the price. I felt that for the $$ I could have done something else and gotten more out of it. Our room was very small and not at all what we had expected. The best thing about it was that it did give Nate and I some alone time to enjoy, so in that sense it was great. I was able to shop for myself without having a toddler racing in and out of the racks of clothing and laughing. I do admit that I missed that little giggling face but it is nice to shop and be able to look at what you are shopping for. Here is a picture of our room.
The bath was the best part of the room.
My parents watched Landon and when we got home Sunday morning, my dad had infiltrated my son and dressed him in all KU clothes. I do have to admit, he was adorable as always in his Jayhawk attire. Someday when he is old enough, he will have the choice over which Kansas team he will cheer for. I want it to be his choice, not mine for him.
Here he is......
Over Thanksgiving weekend, Nate decided to make french toast with Landon. Landon absolutely LOVED cooking with his Dad. It was adorable to watch. We even took video.
Until next time I leave you readers knowing that our God is an awesome God and He will provide us with what He knows is best for us, even if we don't understand His reasons.
We were still young and naive about many things that life would present us, less jaded and more carefree. I say jaded, but that mainly seems to be my problem. My husband seems to be more easy going than me and that must be why we are such a good match. He has calmed me down and I have made him more organized. He is definitely my better half and I am his. God made us perfectly for each other, we still have our imperfections but with God with us we can make it through anything.
With all of our recent fertility struggles, I feel like we have grown towards each other and for that I am grateful. I know that there is a chance that I may still get pregnant with just the Femara or Clomid, but the struggle has definitely taken a toll on me. Mentally I have been through the depths of valley and have been continually learning my need to rely on God more and more.
I finally decided that I cannot do this alone and that I need to have backup and strength to help me fight this battle with less stress and more confidence. I recently went to a counselor, who is faith based counselor and I am working with her to help me learn ways to decrease my stress to hopefully help with our fertility. She is wonderful and has helped me release some of my resentment towards those who haven't been very supportive or sensitive to us while we have been on this journey. Instead of wishing ill will towards them, I am now working on praying and leaving it in God's capable hands to teach them empathy.
Don't get me wrong, we have had some wonderful friends who have been very sensitive to us and have been very open about what is going on in their lives and for that I am grateful. I just wish that everyone could be like that, but that is not how this world works. Satan is trying to find ways to make us fall and he will use anything he can, but I know that my God is stronger and will always win that fight.
I still need prayers but I know that I have some wonderful people in my corner and that makes this journey easier.
For our anniversary, Nate and I went to Chateau Avalon. I had heard many wonderful things about it, but was kind of disappointed for the price. I felt that for the $$ I could have done something else and gotten more out of it. Our room was very small and not at all what we had expected. The best thing about it was that it did give Nate and I some alone time to enjoy, so in that sense it was great. I was able to shop for myself without having a toddler racing in and out of the racks of clothing and laughing. I do admit that I missed that little giggling face but it is nice to shop and be able to look at what you are shopping for. Here is a picture of our room.
The bath was the best part of the room.
My parents watched Landon and when we got home Sunday morning, my dad had infiltrated my son and dressed him in all KU clothes. I do have to admit, he was adorable as always in his Jayhawk attire. Someday when he is old enough, he will have the choice over which Kansas team he will cheer for. I want it to be his choice, not mine for him.
Here he is......
Over Thanksgiving weekend, Nate decided to make french toast with Landon. Landon absolutely LOVED cooking with his Dad. It was adorable to watch. We even took video.
Until next time I leave you readers knowing that our God is an awesome God and He will provide us with what He knows is best for us, even if we don't understand His reasons.
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