Sorry for being absent, but just do not have the words....

Where to start? I haven't written on this blog because I haven't had anything good to share. With that said, only read ahead knowing that it is about my heartache and pain.

October 4th was my due date for a pregnancy that ended in a miscarriage. Needless to say, my due date has come and gone. We are not pregnant again and it doesn't look like we are going to be any time soon. I have many emotions that I am going through right now, but one is anger. This week has been a very hard week emotionally for me and for some it is hard to understand the emotions that have come with this week. If you have never lost a baby, it may be hard to understand. Sometimes the best thing you can do for someone is just listen, love them and hug them. There are things that cannot be fixed by words.

I do no think that you really ever get over the hurt that a miscarriage brings, it is just like the death of a loved one. You hurt for what could have been, for what isn't and for the loss.

Growing up, I never thought that having babies would be such work. You see lots of people who get pregnant and there doesn't seem to be much to it. Boy was I wrong and I have been dealing with that since before we conceived Landon, now we have had even more added to the plate.

I believe that we all deal with things differently and how one believes it should be handled isn't always the only way to handle things.

This week has been a very tough week. Today I was at Walmart and when I was ready to check out I went to an aisle that I thought would be good. When I came up to the cash register, I ran into a lady from my bible study group whom I believe that Lord put there because she was who I needed to see. I shared with her details of the week and she just said, "I am truly sorry and I will be praying for you". She ended the conversation with a hug and again told me she would pray for me. That was exactly what I needed at that time and I was starting to feel better. I am sick of people wanting to "fix" things with words or actions. Somethings just can't be fixed that way.

Well, I had better start to clean my house as we are having a friends graduation party here tomorrow and my house is dirty. Thanks for reading and sorry I didn't have anything uplifting to say. That is why I hadn't updated for a month, but I wanted to share.