One Year....

So it has been one year since I made the official move back to the Treatment Area to start giving chemotherapy again, post Landon. That also means it has been a year since we have been trying to have another baby. Only God knows why we are not any closer to having another baby. There have people who have questioned my move back into giving chemotherapy, but I love that part of my job and to think now, if I would have stayed in my other position I would be even more unhappy about the fact I am not pregnant.

On the 20th I ran my first 5K of the season in KC. My brother let Landon and I stay at his house overnight. Landon had bunches of fun hanging out with his Uncle and with Kara. We did not sleep very well, but that may have been due to the loud thunderstorm in the middle of the night. The morning of the 5K I let Landon sleep in and went to the race. It was a beautiful morning, 76 degrees, perfect weather for a 5K. My time was 27:20, which wasn't bad, but I hope to improve my time.

On a lighter note, I have been busy trying to decorate Landon's room finally (after 2 years). Since he loves baseball, basketball, footballs and soccer balls, I decided to decorate his room in sports. When we decided on Landon's name a little over a few years ago, we bought him white letters that we were going to paint. Needless to say, we have never painted them or even hung them.

On Saturday, my mom and I went to Hobby Lobby and found a bunch of sport metal wall decal things. I also looked at fabric there to see about covering the letters, plus some embelishments. I bought the metal wall hanging, but not the fabtic. After looking at Hobby Lobby and JoAnn's Fabric, I decided to buy fabric and cover the letters. I did that today and we HUNG them in his room. Here is the picture.....

I will post more pictures after we finish decorating.

I also decided to start Landon's scrapbook, which means that I am about 2.5yrs behind. It will take awhile but I have it set up and plan on working on it as much as I can to keep it up-to-date.

Unexpected Day Off :)

Hello all, I am writing this because I unexpectedly got today off and thought I would use it to update my blog. I have not been very good about updating over the last month because it has been a crazy summer trying to keep up with a 2 year old.

Since I started this blog, I feel like I have grown in many ways concerning my miscarriage and infertility. It has been a very trying year since we started trying to conceive another miracle. I will be the first to admit that when I was pregnant with Landon, I did not relish in hearing his little heartbeat everytime that I heard it. If God provides me with another chance, I will probably get misty eyed every time I hear the heartbeat.

As I think about it now, it was a miracle that grew in my belly and I did not think of it as such until recently. We have been blessed by having Landon in our lives, but we do continue hoping for another miracle. Over these past few month and through this journey, I have shed many tears but I feel like this has helped the healing process.

At family camp, they played videos by James McDonald about trials. It helped me more than anything else has over these past few months. Everyone has trials, but it is how we rely on God through these trials that really matters.

I write about this because I feel like there are not many people that talk aabout the difficulty of trying to conceive. All you hear about are the success stories not the depressing stories. I feel more empowered by my fertility/infertility now than depressed by it and that is why I have decided to share our struggles.

I do have many friend and people I know that are pregnant and even though I am very excited for all of them, I do shed a few tears about where I am at in the journey. It is nothing personal against anyone who is pregnant because I know that this is what God wants for them. I still pray that it is what God wants for me also.

On a lighter note, today I got to spend a wonderful day with Landon. We went to the mall and went shopping for some winter clothes for him. He did absolutely wonderful so we went to the play area for awhile and even went to McDonald's for a happy meal.

Here he is playing on the pig in the play area. He was adorable and loved the pig, it was the only thing he wanted to play on.

Here he is riding the train that he wanted to ride really bad, until it started.

I love having extra days off to spend with the little guy and am truly blessed to have him in my life. I hope in time to be able to provide a sibling for him, but that will have to be in God's time. Thanks for tuning in for an update.

Family Camp

Over the last week, we went to Family Camp with TBC. For those of you who do not attend TBC, Family Camp takes place at New Life Ranch in Oklahoma and it is 4 days of family filled fun. We have 2 sessions of Chapel, 3 meals throughout the day and during the hottest hours (1pm to 5pm) water time.

This was Landon's first time to attend. I attended for 4 years when I was younger and since Nate and I have been together, 3 years. Landon had a BLAST with his cousin Jackson and the rest of the Kaberline family, including Lynette. We all shared a room, 11 people, including 2 kids under the age of 3. Thankfully for nap time, my husband rigged up the empty mats to "black out" the room. The boys both slept great and we were able to leave them in the room and spend time in the water, since it was 100 or more most afternoons.

Here are some pictures.....

This is a picture of the family before leaving

Landon not enjoying chapel as much as we did

Landon having fun with the noodles during gym/game time

Landon and Daddy snuggling in the morning

The boys playing in the water fountain outside of chapel

Landon playing with the rope from the lifesaver at the waterfront

It was a great time but we are glad to be home. Landon is exhausted after a fun weekend so it is great for him to be in his own bed. Now, time for bed so we can return to work tomorrow.....